I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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