She said her name was "party"
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
