plz talk dirty to me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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