You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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