dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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