im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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