At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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