Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
