I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
