I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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