Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
