I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
