I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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