I cockslap morals
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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