I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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