Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
PANTIES FOUND
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