Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
