mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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