we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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