I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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