I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said âEat Freshâ while his GF was with him. FML
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