dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
