dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
