I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
