Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
