Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
where am i from again
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
