oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
