So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
