yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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