she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
