She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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