i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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