i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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