well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
