hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
