Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
