hell yes lets make some ravioli
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
