I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
