Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
