I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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