So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
