I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
