You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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