pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
