why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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