I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
