Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
