i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
