how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
