how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
