im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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