i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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