i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
