ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
