watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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